deep breath out

Today was a giant relief on many levels. The biggest one is that at this moment, my living room is really quite clean and tidy and you would not believe how much easier I breathe when everything looks like it’s supposed to. It is astonishing just how difficult it is to do basic stuff like shower and clean and cook with the current assortment of small children – it’s probably at its most challenging. It won’t last – I expect that it will be considerably better in six months. I’m doing my best to hold on to the lovely things about the final moments of Clara’s baby time, and Rowan’s toddler time, and Lucy’s preschool time (kindergarten is basically preschool, let’s be real) because I know that I will blink and it will be gone, just like the entire last difficult, amazing, awful, wonderful year. But you guys, one day I will be able to have enough of a brain to read real books again, and clean my house on the regular, and maybe even have the energy to work out and eat properly. O glory and trumpets.

The other giant relief is that during my mama time off, I got my eyes checked and I was right. They’ve devolved since before Clara and I need glasses now. I picked some green ones from this company, and they’re totally flexible, like Lucy’s baby glasses were. The company makes children’s glasses too, so I’ll be getting some for Lucy next time hers need replacing. I went here, in case any local people want a good optometrist or children’s optician (in addition to Whitworth’s, downtown, which is also fantastic). You can hold your breath for a week until I get them and post a picture.

I am not quite yet relieved about tomorrow’s Advent narrative, as it’s not finished and I am in the wrong headspace to work on it. I keep looking at it and feeling annoyed, and I’ve written enough of these sorts of things to know that it will feel right at some point, but good grief I am nearly out of time. Being a works-best-under-pressure sort of person is great in terms of the efficiency with which I can crank out my writing when crunch time strikes, but I do feel like a pressure cooker getting up to pressure right now.

If you can believe it, I’m on top of my game for Christmas. The to-do list is ticking itself off merrily and the gifty knitting proceeds apace. I love the stuff I’m giving this year – I obviously am not going to spoil things for the grown-up literate people who read my blog, but the kids are getting Wedgits, this fire station, and bugs in a jar. I leave it to you to determine who is getting what. I have a plan for my baking, we have an itinerary for our road trip, and the Christmas cards should be ready to mail on Monday, provided I can find my return address labels. I feel that return address labels are a true sign of adulthood – I have learned to prioritize my time, and writing 100 return addresses is not a valuable use of time.

I have a post percolating about the dichotomy between Advent and the festive season and how I am working through that, particularly in relation to the small ones, but it is not ready to be written yet. Soon, I hope.

Happy second Advent!